It's 2 AM. Do you know where your pillow is?

I wake up suddenly. It's pitch black. I stand up, or maybe I'm already standing. It's not clear. I have no idea where I am. I can't see anything. I feel around, which doesn't help at all. I start walking. This is really smart, you know, wandering around unknown territory in the dark.

It starts to dawn on me that I've probably gotten turned around in my room (again). I stop walking, and start thinking hard. (It's really hard to do both when you've woken up confused and disoriented, I'll have you know!)
I eventually decide that I'm in my room, probably on the left side of my bed. To confirm this, I feel my way around to my bathroom, and lo and behold, there is my alarm clock (the only source of light in my room at night). I crawl back to bed and drop immediately back into sleep.

If I kept the fucking alarm right by my bed, I wouldn't have to roam my room at night wondering where I am. I'd still wake up confused, but it wouldn't take me as long to get with the program.
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So, I have to wonder if I've been sleepwalking lately. This isn't the first time I've woken up that confused, in my own room, in the middle of the night. I'm never sure if I was already standing when I woke or not, or if I got up as some kind of reflex. Sometimes I've turned completely around (my head at the foot of the bed) and when I wake I get off on the "right" side of my bed, which is actually the left, which really confuses me when I'm looking for the light switch and can't find it. I'm really glad I got rid of the elliptical machine I kept there, because I kept running into it. Usually I just wake up confused and disoriented, roam for a couple minutes, and make my way back to bed once I realize what is going on. This has been happening off and on for a few months now. I can't figure out what's triggering it. My memory sucks on a good day, so I can't ever tell if I've moved anything around or what. I remember once or twice as a child having my flashlight move from the safety of my top of the bunk bed with me, to a desk at ground level. Everyone denied moving it, but they might have been pulling my leg. I don't really think I'm a sleepwalker, but I can't figure out why else I would wake up standing or turned the wrong way in bed. I'm not that much of a mover when I sleep.

A few weeks ago I woke up in a panic, convinced that I'd left Miss E in the living room and I started looking for her. It was pitch black, but I couldn't find the light switch. I made it to the living room and turned on the light. Then it occurred to me to check her crib. Duh. She was in bed. Asleep. Not the first time I've woken in a panic about her, and I'm sure it won't be the last.