Oh, hail

Those slightly bigger than pea sized hails sounded much bigger on the roof in the middle of the night. Like elephants.
I only opened my door 6 inches to get this pic, cause some of it was bouncing off the railing and flying at me. It was coming down pretty hard and it looked like it would hurt. I'm injury prone, and I don't want to have to explain that I got a black eye from a stray piece of hail.

I am so glad I parked underneath a big tree! I don't see any damage to anyone's car, but mine was relatively safe. Unless of course the tree fell, but if it fell chances are it would have landed on my car anyhow, that thing is huge.

Oh, and the wall next to my fireplace, the one that they fixed 6 months ago? Yeah, it had water running down it again. Nice! They also fixed the roof around my fireplace, since that is where the leak had come from, supposedly. Guess they are going to have to look again.
At least I didn't have a giant water booby on my wall, this time!

I can find the bright side in all this rain, though. I no longer have to leave my living room blinds down for privacy. I can dance around my nekkid at night with the lights on and no one can see me from the highway! Score! However, there is the matter of the "privacy" glass on the front door that would mean my neighbors could still see my nekkid silhouette. Must.buy.curtain.

Hold Me

It's storming out. There is thunder and lightning. The lights are flickering and I just know I'm going to lose power soon.

My flashlight? It's in the car. Outside. You know, where it's raining.

EPIC FAIL!

Dirty Usurpers

The wasp nest count is up to 7 on the back porch.
There are at least 2 on the front porch now.
*Sigh*


Also, Miss E has pinkeye. Putting eye drops into a 19 month old's eye is a blast. I only have to do it 3 more times today!

Return of the Flying Fuckers

I went out on my back balcony today.

BIG mistake!

There were not one, two, or three or four, but FIVE FUCKING WASP NESTS out there. Five that I saw anyhow. Who knows how many were lurking out of sight!

One on my living room to balcony door, two on various parts of the ceiling and one on my storage door. They would have nailed my sliding glass door if they could have! Though, they got as close as they could and placed one on the wall right above the door. They have succeeded in wasping all 4 sides of my balcony.

So, off we went to the Walmarts for some Raid. Miss E started screaming about 1.2 seconds inside the door.
She continued screaming through the auto section, where we got some coolant and an oh-so-handy funnel.
She kept on screaming until we hit the magical toy department. She spotted the Tower O Balls and turned on the charm. She usually chooses not to speak, but kept pointing and looking and me and saying BAAA BAAA (ball! ball!).
I had a choice:
A.) Pass the balls and listen to renewed, louder/screechier screeching.
B.) Give her a ball, just like the one we already have at home, and chase it around as she pitches it out willy-nilly on random sides of the cart and shrieks with laughter when Mama has to chase it.

Option B, it is!

12 ball chases later, we found the insect repellent. I hate this friggen store.

5 more ball chases land us at the closest possible cash register. It's the most contained since it's the cigarette register and there is an aisle immediately to the right. Less possible places for the ball to go.

----
30 Minutes Later

I'm strategizing for the most efficient method for Raiding. It's not really safe, no matter how I go about it, so I say Fuck the planning and get to work.
I carefully open the living room to balcony door (which has a nest on the door itself, mind you) and check for wasps. I don't see any. The nests are vacant. I rustle up some cojones. I aim the can at the furthest nest and press the trigger.
Nothing.
FUCK!
It occurs to me that there is probably some sort of safety feature to keep morons from spraying it in the store. I break off the damn tab and get to work.

In a matter of 30 seconds, I've soaked the storage door nest and all 3 on the ceiling. I spot a returning wasp and bolt back inside. I lock the door. You know, just in case they have learned how to turn a doorknob.

I run to my sliding glass door (from my room to the balcony) to keep an eye on the wasp. It flies off. I quietly slide open the door. It comes back. I slam the door, and run away.

5 minutes later I go check out the situation. No wasps.

I open the sliding door a crack and stick my hand/can out. I spray the living room door nest for all of 2 seconds before the friggen wasp returns. I slam the door, lock it, close the blinds, leave my room, and then close my bedroom door for good measure. I quit!

It feels like summer, almost

Holy Frozen Chocha, Bathman*! The pool was way too cold!



*unintentional typo

It's 2 AM. Do you know where your pillow is?

I wake up suddenly. It's pitch black. I stand up, or maybe I'm already standing. It's not clear. I have no idea where I am. I can't see anything. I feel around, which doesn't help at all. I start walking. This is really smart, you know, wandering around unknown territory in the dark.

It starts to dawn on me that I've probably gotten turned around in my room (again). I stop walking, and start thinking hard. (It's really hard to do both when you've woken up confused and disoriented, I'll have you know!)
I eventually decide that I'm in my room, probably on the left side of my bed. To confirm this, I feel my way around to my bathroom, and lo and behold, there is my alarm clock (the only source of light in my room at night). I crawl back to bed and drop immediately back into sleep.

If I kept the fucking alarm right by my bed, I wouldn't have to roam my room at night wondering where I am. I'd still wake up confused, but it wouldn't take me as long to get with the program.
----------------

So, I have to wonder if I've been sleepwalking lately. This isn't the first time I've woken up that confused, in my own room, in the middle of the night. I'm never sure if I was already standing when I woke or not, or if I got up as some kind of reflex. Sometimes I've turned completely around (my head at the foot of the bed) and when I wake I get off on the "right" side of my bed, which is actually the left, which really confuses me when I'm looking for the light switch and can't find it. I'm really glad I got rid of the elliptical machine I kept there, because I kept running into it. Usually I just wake up confused and disoriented, roam for a couple minutes, and make my way back to bed once I realize what is going on. This has been happening off and on for a few months now. I can't figure out what's triggering it. My memory sucks on a good day, so I can't ever tell if I've moved anything around or what. I remember once or twice as a child having my flashlight move from the safety of my top of the bunk bed with me, to a desk at ground level. Everyone denied moving it, but they might have been pulling my leg. I don't really think I'm a sleepwalker, but I can't figure out why else I would wake up standing or turned the wrong way in bed. I'm not that much of a mover when I sleep.

A few weeks ago I woke up in a panic, convinced that I'd left Miss E in the living room and I started looking for her. It was pitch black, but I couldn't find the light switch. I made it to the living room and turned on the light. Then it occurred to me to check her crib. Duh. She was in bed. Asleep. Not the first time I've woken in a panic about her, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Oddness

I just got a friend recommendation on Facebook. I didn't even know that was something you could do there, but I digress
So the friend recommendation is from the weird guy I briefly dated in February. The recommended friend? His dad. (or other random family member, not sure.)

Yeah.. how bout no?

Think you've got all the iPod acccessories?

Think again.

Not safe for work/school/kids/whatever. No nudity, just subject matter you don't want to explain to children and coworkers.
https://www.ohmibod.com/catalog/shopping_cart.php (must be 18+)

I'm in LOVE

..with Honey Mustard Pringles..
I must stock up before they disappear again for another year. Stupid limited time chips!

RANT!

It's a common misconception among hospital patients and their families that I'm a nurse.
I'm not.
I correct people when they say it in my presence, and I always introduce myself to patients/families. I can't help it if they assume everyone that comes into their room is a nurse.

So today, I go in to see a patient and the room is crammed full of family. I ask a few of them to leave for a few minutes so I can do his ultrasound. Those that stayed were very helpful.. I do his test, and on the way out one of his other family members is on her way back in, talking to the patient's nurse.
I happen to be seeing the patient next door, and the nurse comes up to me and says, Oh, I guess you go a promotion!
What?
The family member of the other patient had referred to me as a nurse. The nurse somehow felt that this would have been a promotion for me.

It's just a different job- not higher on the totem pole. If I got a promotion, I'd be a department supervisor, not a nurse. Duh!

Jackass.

I opted not to become a nurse because of the Poo factor. I hate Poo. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to smell it, and I certainly don't want to deal with anyone elses Poo if I don't absolutely positively have to! (Except Miss E, she's my kiddo so she gets a free Poo Pass). I chose a cleaner profession. I have a lot of respect for nurses, but I don't feel they are superior to me in any way.

/end rant

Beyond The Grave

I vaguely remember something about being able to paint an accent wall.
I locate my lease (which, for some reason, I decided to store on the top shelf of one of my kitchen cabinets- but at least I knew where it was.)

It's about 14 pages, legal sized, including 6 pages of addendums and 2 about water billing. I've never read it front to back.

I flip through it and I notice something:

"22. Death of Sole Resident
If you are the sole resident, upon your death you may terminate the Lease Contract without penalty with at least 30 days written notice. You will be liable for payment of rent until the latter of: (1) the termination date, or (2) until all possessions in the apartment are removed. You will be liable for all rent, charges, and damages to the apartment until it is vacated, and any removal and storage costs."

Do you think I should have this drawn up in advance?




(and no, this is not what I forgot about writing earlier)

Swiss Cheese

So yesterday I had this great idea on what to blog about.
What was it?
I haven't got a freakin clue, because I'd totally forgotten by the time I got to the computer.

Damn it.

It'll come back to me later.

Public Service Announcement

You should really, really have at least a semi-professional sounding email address that you use for such things as resumes or say, mass email lists for that new professional organization you just joined. Using your name as an email address would be ideal for such situations.

Or else I'll be forced to snicker at you, alwaysgocommando@whatever.com.